Home, but not home

I’m home in hometown for my brother’s belated wedding reception (they got married in Feb and are now throwing a Hawaiian Luau/barbie-dream-wedding mishmash that will probably go down in infamy).  I’m home until Sunday but staying with my oldest friend in the world– the closest thing I could have to a sister.  She totally gets my mom issues– cuz she has the same issues with my mom.

Anyway, I’m staying with my practically-sister and her family for the duration of my trip.  It’s because the houses are crowded elsewhere (when did people stop getting hotel rooms when they came into town for wedding stuff?); and because Mom doesn’t know about The Big D yet– and won’t know until after I return to school.  So this new housing arrangement is in part for the protection of my sanity.   It’s going to be hard enough lying to her for the next week when I know she’s going to be pushing to find out answers, as she always does.  And it means that I can run away when things get to crazy, the demands on me become too much, or I just don’t feel like making another paper flower.

That said, this should be a fun trip.  I’ll get some peace in my escape to PS’s house; I’ll get to spend time with her kids who are growing up into such great young adults; I’ll get some sleep; I’ll do minimal work; and my brother will have a great time at his reception, I’m sure.  Oh, and did I mention that I get to see my niece?  That is going to be SUPER exciting.  BTW, she has my eyes

So much to do, so little time in which to do it

1– Get oil changed

2– Finish moving out of sublet into new place (in progress)

3– Finish the last of the cleaning

4– Laundry

5– Pack for trip tomorrow

6– Charge camera

7– Print up and drop off course packet for fall class

8– Order desk copies for TA

9– Print final exam, administer final exam

10– Appt.

Office hours on Sunday

It’s a weekend. But the final is Monday and I’m going to be on campus anyway. So yeah. Go me.

No feeling sorry for me

Thanks to everyone for your kind words to my previous post. In all honesty, I think this is for the best. It means that J and I can go on to lead lives that will be fulfilling in ways that we couldn’t when we were together.

So instead, feel excited for me: I’ve survived my first semester of teaching; my course surveys were largely positive; I’m getting a new apartment; I’ll have a few pieces of new furniture; I’ve nearly finished my first self-designed wearable clothing item that I have knitted (I just have to finish the cast-off and make the draw string, then wash and wear!); and I’m going home to visit friends and family that I haven’t seen since early Feb. All of those things are really positive things and I think it’s going to be a great semester moving forward. I mean, hooray! A new apartment. Hooray! New furniture. Hooray! Planning trips for fun.

So tell me the things you can say Hooray! about and we’ll have a good day today together!

Beginnings, Endings

Tuesday was the two year anniversary of my marriage.

Monday night J and I agreed to make our separation permanent.

There was a little bit of sadness, I must say. Actually, I was almost surprised by how much sadness I felt as we were talking about it. I’m doing better now. But I suppose there’s still a bit more sadness to be worked through. But for now, things are amicable between us and I think the counseling helped get us to the point where we could at last let go and still appreciate the good things about each other while recognizing our mutual mistakes and our different visions for the future.

I haven’t told my family yet. I’m leaving next week for my brother’s wedding reception and won’t let the fam know about the new development until after the reception has passed. (Besides, with the way things are going with that party, I think the additional stress of my news would probably send my mom to an asylum!). So, J and I will work out the paperwork and start dividing up assets, etc., after I return from home.

In the meantime, my mom is still occasionally dropping comments about when J and I are back together how xyz will happen. And she’s always checking to make sure he knows that my lease is a 6 month lease and not a full year, etc.

Also, this weekend, my students will take their final and the course will be over; and I will be moving into a new apartment. All sorts of things are beginning and ending this week and next. It’s kind of a strange experience.

Finals

Well, the class is winding down. Tomorrow and Thursday are the last class days– and those will be taken up with test questions, review and course evals. On Monday I had the students spend 15 or 20 minutes together working on coming up with potential test questions. At first glance I thought they wouldn’t actually work and I hated that I might be forced to disappoint them by coming up with my own. But another look indicates that, actually, some of the questions are right on point and those that aren’t seem to indicate an interest in learning more about certain topics that we’ve talked about– if not actually demonstrating a clear grasp on the larger concepts. Either way, it was a successful activity and I’m really kind of excited.

Now I just have to formulate the test questions.

Actually, the last few days of class have gone really well. The completion of their first semester of college seems to have perked them up a bit and they were even cracking jokes a bit today. AND– I think we even nailed the main and rather complicated concept that the second half of the course has been building to. I’ll have to wait until next semester to see how the evals turn out, but for the moment, I’m going to consider the course a success.

Actually, in addition to the evals that the students do for the university, I’m also supplying a supplemental eval that asks for specific written feedback so that I will have something to look at and use for improving my fall course. I’m not sure if that’s a wise decision or not– do I really want to know what they think? What if they don’t think things went as well as I do? Do I need to start off the semester with that kind of cloud hanging over my head? God, I hope not.

Anywho.

I’m thinking of showing Kingdom of Heaven in my Fall class just for the heck of it. I mean, I could probably come up with a justification for showing it. We will be talking about the Crusades, after all. The other possibility is the Egyptian take on the same time period with sub titles, which is supposed to be really good as well. Really, I’m just trying to expand some of the material so that I’m not suffering as much with creating new lectures, etc., the way that I did this summer. And because students and profs both need a break from lectures once in a while. Effective learning takes place in a variety of ways, after all.

My graduation trip plans…

It’s still a ways off, but I enjoy travel, and this trip requires my thinking about it so that I can maintain my focus– I have to finish the diss so that I can go on this trip This trip will be in two stages that I’m currently envisioning. The first part is a trip to Morocco, which is something I have been wanting to do for so long and this seems like the perfect way to celebrate. The other destination has only just been discovered:

My uncle has recently retired and decided that he wanted to join the Peace Corps. Today he finally got his assignment.

He’s going to Ethiopia.

So I’m going to go to Ethiopia to visit him on the second leg of my visit.

Yay! Morocco and Ethiopia!

Vegas, Baby! Vegas!

Yeah, I wish I could be going Vegas. But in this case, I’m just referencing the movie. I went into the convenience store to get gas and pick up some coffee (my convenience store doubles as an organic produce shop– how awesome is that? Only in this part of town!). Anyway, so I was checking out and they had Swingers! playing on the TV behind the register… which made me decide that when I got home, I should put it on. Which I did.

The movie brings back fantastic college memories. On my 20th birthday, just a couple of weeks into my first semester at my Alma Mater (I was a transfer student) my new friends and I were sitting in the guys’ dorm room with a couple of beers, some teddy grahams, our newest friend who lived just down the hall, and watching Swingers!… and cringing at the embarrassing scenes.

What a great movie.

I think I might be crazy

This is a teaching post.

I have discovered that lecturing is not really my thang. Okay, a lecture once in a while is cool and even fun. According to some of my students lectures are “boring” but necessary for the factual information. And my view is that 1) prepping takes too much time outside of class; 2) students aren’t getting much out of lecturing– it’s just too passive an activity; 3) it’s disheartening to stare out at a sea of tired, blank faces every morning. And I also just don’t think that I’m the most dynamic of lecturers. I can make for a good lecture here and there, and I can make it a fun lecture. But I can’t, on a day to day basis, expend that kind of energy. I just don’t have it in me.

Besides, the stuff that I think is most fun is the stuff that we don’t have time for if I have to spend the whole class lecturing, anyway.

So– yes, I still want to teach. I enjoy teaching and the process of engaging with students. That’s never been in doubt for me.

But I’m teaching a class next semester with 90 students in it and I’m trying to come up with ways to eliminate much of the lecturing– with the exception of a few guest lectures to break activities up and some videos and group activities, etc. To do this, I’ve decided to eliminate tests altogether. We’ll have two papers instead of two essay exams. I’ve decided to incorporate three pop quizzes into the grades. And I’m trying to figure out a way to structure the remainder of the grade to be based on participation grades that consist of in-class discussion and in-class panel presentations.

The course meets 3x/week over the usual semester length (approx 16 weeks). The question at the moment will be how many students will make up the panels for presentation.

And of course, then there’s the fear that this whole experiment just won’t work. OMG. That’s a real possibility. I hope it doesn’t become a reality.

Of course, there’s still the chance that I can save the course if things start to go awry; and it’s not like I won’t be helping with discussion and moving things along to a higher level once the basic presentation of the day is done. So these are good things.

Thoughts? Am I brave? Am I nuts? Have any of you actually tried to have a participation-heavy class with 90 students? And if so, what happened?

To the annoying eater on my right

I’m sure you think that you’re all dainty with your pinkie finger up and your napkin in your lap while you eat your panini sandwich.

But I have to tell you that the effect is ruined by your sloppy chomping-with-your-mouth-open. In fact, I wouldn’t have noticed that you were even trying to eat daintily if I hadn’t heard the nasty noises coming from your mouth as I typed.